As an individual, I think it is one’s nature to hope and dream for a better future – literally a better career. One will always dream of landing in a better job with high salaries. We always aim to reach the stars as an individual. But what about having a family? Will it ever occur in one’s mind the idea of raising a family in the future? Is anyone up for the challenge of having children and rearing them for a brighter generation to come?
Personally, it is not among my dreams too. As a simple girl, it was enough for me to be able to go to college, finished a degree, and find a job that can sustain my needs. Luckily, even there were struggles and obstacles along the way, I was able to get my degree in a university.
And when it was my time to have a family on my own, it was really a struggle. My daughter for sure is a sight to behold but despite that, there are lingering thoughts in my head thinking about the what-ifs. It is really not that easy, especially that you and your partner will be living under one roof after marriage. It will really be a big adjustment and one hurdle that I kept thinking about at the start would be on how to handle finances.
During the first year of marriage, I decided to resign from my previous job to be able to fully take care of our daughter. My husband has work though so I thought we can still manage even if I was not working yet. But what bothers me, as time went by, is the reality that I really don’t have my own money. Luckily, we were provided with everything that we needed at home, and it wasn’t a problem. But personally, it also made me think if the situation would be fine in the long run. Don’t I get the chance to pay for my own personal wants? Will I really depend on him for the rest of our lives? Of course, that’s what homemakers should do. Still, I just brushed it off for the sake of my daughter. At that time, I can’t just let anybody take care or discipline my child so having to depend on my husband on our finances is my only option then.
It was a good thing that after a couple of years when my husband opened up about handling our finances. I felt lucky that I waited because he started to discuss with me about his salary. I think it’s really important for a couple to be able to talk openly about their finances especially when starting a family. For me, it’s really a challenge for both because you now have a family to raise and new responsibilities are now upon your shoulder. You now have a child to raise and a household to run. You don’t need to rely on your parents anymore for your responsibilities. It will still be a big advantage if you still have your parents to call during downtimes but you should also be able to learn to stand on your own.
Being a stay-at-home mom also entails a lot of responsibilities. Though I don’t work as a career woman, it is also fulfilling knowing that you are able to see the development of your child – seeing her walk and talk for the first time, seeing her beautiful smile as you cuddle with her through the day, and just being able to be with her on her milestones is already a great achievement.
But one challenging aspect would be about budgeting and prioritizing your needs. Good thing technology has been advanced nowadays; I am able to manage finances appropriately through online banking. With the advent of internet banking, budgeting our finances is made easier especially that utility bills can now already be paid online, it can save you the hassle of going to the actual store personally just to be able to settle your obligations. And since my husband is too busy to do those errands, we both decided to have our utilities and savings account under my name so I can just settle it alone whenever the need arises. I’m just lucky and thankful that he trusts me to handle our finances. With online banking and the advancement of technology, you can easily monitor your accounts online and check if payments are already made with the merchant. You can also use email as an alternative to telephone if communication with the merchant is really needed.
It is really challenging especially in my case that my husband is working out of town and we don’t really communicate regularly. I am given the sole responsibility of deciding on my own at certain times. Still it is fun and fulfilling knowing that your partner fully trusts you with these things which I think, are essential parts of family life.